


Don’t want your lessons in love, I want to tear it all up

by RocioWrites



Category: The Old Guard (Movie 2020)
Genre: Aromantic Nile Freeman, Background Relationships, Gen, Minor Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko, Minor Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Nile Freeman-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-29
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:54:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 11,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26167486
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RocioWrites/pseuds/RocioWrites
Summary: Five times someone thought Nile was dating another The Old Guard fellow. And the one time she confesses to them she’s actually pretty sure she’s aromantic.
Comments: 113
Kudos: 315





	1. Andy

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from Keane’s Tear Up This Town, apparently from A Monster Calls movie – the first draft of this was titled Don’t sink because my heart’s not heavy (from Mother Mother’s Heart Heavy) but I decided to avoid the sinking/drowning implications of it so here, have this other title based on other lyrics instead.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “This is Jessica.” Nile says, standing up. Joe and Nicky share a look but don’t even emit a peep. “I invited her.”
> 
> “I can see that.” She sounds tired and wary, not extremely mad, which is good. Tilting her head towards the door, Nile gets the hint.
> 
> They proceed to argue in hushed tones in the hallway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adding a warning about domestic abuse/violence for this, nothing graphic but better safe than sorry!

The first time Nile breaks A Rule, it’s been two weeks of staying low-key out of business. Vacations of sorts, they said. In all honesty, they just want to rest from their last job and also meditate really hard about actually getting Booker back sooner.

It’s not like Nile wants to ruffle some feathers, she only thought about helping someone. Isn’t that what they’re all about?

So she brings Jessica home. What constitutes home during this impasse, a sort of nice apartment with almost enough rooms for them to live in. Nile is glad to realize Joe and Nicky are so used to staying in each other’s pockets and have no problems about the space. Andy sometimes complains but all in all, it doesn’t bother her in the least; she’s done worse.

It wasn’t a conscious plan, but she’s been going to the same coffee shop with different books basically every day. Some alone time only for herself, reading, sometimes she writes shitty things in the margins or in random notebooks to retain feeling like a human. Jessica usually serves her orders perfectly and they sometimes make small talk. An innocuous thing, really. Nile even checked the place, it doesn’t have security cameras, in hopes of irritating Copley the least amount possible.

But today Jessica is sporting a pretty nasty bruise on her eye that can only mean someone punched her, the make up is sort of covering it but not completely. Nile suddenly understood that she could actually just go and kill her boyfriend for hitting her. Nile _could_. She won’t but she could with an impunity she never considered before.

Instead, she waits for Jessica’s shift to be over, lends an ear, sympathizes with her. It isn’t the first time, but now the bruises are visible – which freezes and boils Nile’s blood immediately in equal measures. She offers her a place to stay a few hours or a night, have a drink or eat, maybe nap, and reevaluate where to go from there. Jessica refuses at first but Nile softly coaxes her to think it through, is this what she wants for herself? Does she truly feel this alone that her only choice is to go back to a man who abuses her?

There’s a sister of hers, Jessica finally concedes, afraid and tentatively, that doesn’t live that far. She could call her, make sure she’ll be well received.

So she brings Jessica home. Nile knows there must be some food and momentary peace for her, a private place to reconnect with her sister and ask for help.

Joe is the first to spot them, he eyes them cautiously yet tenderly. Jessica gets spooked all the same, as if she wasn’t expecting anyone else and much less, a man. Joe turns the volume of the TV down, some weird talk show on it, and slowly stands up, a bright smile on his face. The bruises are obvious, yes, but really, Joe is just like this in general, Nile truly believes he would offer this blindingly friendly smile to anyone.

“A friend.” Nile clarifies. “Joe, this is Jessica. Is having a rough day.” They shake hands although it seems more for the benefit of Nile, seeing she’s the one who's used to this being a normal greeting. “Needs a place for a few hours.”

“Right.” He says, a spark of amusement on him. They’re both thinking the same: Andy won’t like it. If Copley finds out he’d like it even less. “Can I get you something?”

Jessica mumbles something that goes along the lines of _no, thank you_ but Nile loudly proclaims she’s hungry, is there anything? It launches Joe into a review of the few leftovers they have, the menu sprinkled with compliments to the chef, Nicky, that fortunately has Jessica relaxing a bit.

The power of love, Nile supposes, following Joe to the kitchen and inviting Jessica along. Only true love, like Joe and Nicky’s, is able to remind people this is the end goal, happiness, honest love and support.

Nile lets Jessica sit down wherever she prefers, all the while Joe keeps talking to her, about the secret for these receipts and whatnot. They reheat some of the food, let Jessica choose if she wants something alcoholic or not to go with it. She asks for orange juice which is kind of cute.

Second to come in contact is, of course, Nicky. He seems surprised for about two seconds, then planting himself beside Joe, both leaning against the kitchen counter, he introduces himself. Jessica’s eyes linger briefly on Joe’s arm snaking around Nicky’s waist.

“This is really delicious.” She says, lifting her fork and making Nicky grin.

They resume chatting, about Jessica’s work, professionally avoiding giving details of any of them, about how she misses her sister and the pang in Nile’s heart is so deep, it stings so much. It’s hard to believe Nile will ever get over the fact that she left her family behind. It had to be done, she’s made peace with it, or trying her best at least, but it still hurts, it is an open wound still.

Jessica confesses she texted her sister, and is waiting for a reply. Nile sees Nicky’s eyes soften, and for a moment she has this wild vision of them asking Jessica to stay longer. Fuck it, Nile wants to help but sometimes she forgets these people have had centuries of looking at others with a timeless compassion. She, in comparison, is just another young woman offering solidarity. Andy, Joe and Nicky – and Booker – have a different vision, they’ve probably seen this happen again and again all over the world in every fucking decade.

And exactly when Nile sees Joe open his mouth, grip tightening on Nicky’s waist, she’s sure he will propose she stays or maybe that they kick her boyfriend out, just then Andy shows up.

Silence befalls them.

Andy commands respect, Nile watches Jessica cower at her presence. Nile doesn’t blame her.

“Who are you?”

Well, that… that’s a direct approach. Straight forward that is.

“This is Jessica.” Nile says, standing up. Joe and Nicky share a look but don’t even emit a peep. “I invited her.”

“I can see that.” She sounds tired and wary, not extremely mad, which is good. Tilting her head towards the door, Nile gets the hint.

They proceed to argue in hushed tones in the hallway. Hopefully they won’t be heard, she can count on Joe and Nicky to entertain their guest. Nile only wanted to help, this isn’t really compromising them, Jessica doesn’t know their real names, hasn’t taken pictures, hasn’t even asked anything relevant. Andy makes a compelling argument: neither had Copley and he was after them all the same.

Nile remains stubbornly quiet while Andy makes her points.

“Make sure she gets somewhere safe. And this is the last time, are we clear?”

“Yes, we’re clear.” Nile understands the gravity and doesn’t want to risk her new family, but yeah, she wants to do good things for others.

Andy grins at her petulant tone and playfully tugs a few of her braids as she passes by. Entering the kitchen, claiming that she also needs food, Andy nods at Jessica, who’s now focused on her and her body language. Andy seems relaxed and Joe is already handing her a plate so it looks like everything is alright.

At the sight of Nile, Jessica springs into action, picking her phone up and pocketing it, staying as far away from Andy as possible, just in case.

“I should get going.”

“You can stay some more if you need.” Nile says, but she’s looking at Andy who just shrugs.

“No, it’s okay. My sister just answered, she’s waiting for me now.” Her smile is timid and incredibly beautiful. This is what it is, what should always be about. Doing what they think it’s right, she agrees with Nicky. Jessica turns to Joe and Nicky and gifts them with a wide honest smile. “Thank you.”

They both acknowledge her with a soft _you’re welcome_ and a smile.

“Let me walk you to the door. Or do you need a lift?”

At this Andy looks at her, an eyebrow going up.

“No, thanks, I can get there by myself, don’t worry.” She turns around, locks eyes on Andy and licks her lips, like taking courage. “Thank you for allowing me to stay and eat your food, I’ll be out of the way now. Bye.” And it’s soft and well-mannered, and Joe and Nicky listen to it as if it’s directed at them. However, Andy is the one at the end of this declaration. There is something in the tone and the way Jessica says all this, Nile isn’t sure what but it makes Andy smirk and lift her head in acknowledgment.

“Good riddance.” Andy calls after them. “Don’t let anyone do that to you again.”

Once Nile closes the door behind her, she sees Jessica in the dim light from the street lamp and she looks like a new woman. Yes, her eyes are puffy and blood-shot, and there’s that awful bruise despite the make up. Yet, she’s standing on her own two feet, a new purpose, reconnecting with her sister. Andy’s words dance on her mind, _good riddance_. Nile is sure they will be leaving soon now, just in case and as a protection measure.

“Sure you don’t need a lift?” She asks.

Jessica nods, braver than ever. This fills Nile’s heart with so much warmth. “No, thank you. _God_.” She looks away. “Thank you. For everything.”

“It’s alright. I’m glad you can go to your sister, that guy is an asshole and doesn’t deserve you in his life.”

“You are too good, Nile. Thank you. And uh… sorry if I made you fight with your girlfriend?”

She blinks. “My… what?”

Jessica giggles at her flabbergasted look. “You two make a lovely couple.”

“No, wait, no. Wait, what?” She takes a deep breath, confused. “Andy and I aren’t together.” She explains, slowly, as if rethinking every interaction Jessica saw that could lead her to this conclusion. “It’s just, just… not like that.”

“Oh.” A pause. “Sorry then?” Jessica giggles some more.

It’s endearing, even if Nile is still stuck on that guess of hers about Andy and their relationship.

“Doesn’t matter.” Because honestly? It doesn’t. Even if it put some weird images in her mind. Oh she isn’t retelling this to the others. “Doesn’t matter at all.” She concludes.

“Okay. I… I.” Jessica sighs, rolls her shoulders. There are a few cars passing by serving as a distraction for a few seconds. “I should get going now.” Nile nods. “Your friends told me you’re moving out soon? So I guess this is truly goodbye.”

“Well, I...”

Jessica takes her hand, a gasp leaving Nile’s mouth. Her skin is warm and quite soft against hers, and it’s weird, it takes her by surprise, not unwelcomed though.

“Thank you, again. Have a marvelous life, Nile. I’ll try my best with mine.”

A kiss on the cheek and Jessica walks away. Her back straight, chin up, a resolution to find what’s best for her and allowing herself to pick up strength for her family to leave her abuser behind.

Nile thinks, for A Rule that’s been broken, she’s satisfied nonetheless.


	2. Joe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Is he always like that?”
> 
> “Ah. Yeah, I guess so.” After all, Joe is kinda silly. A heart of gold goofy type of man. Okay, Nile isn’t the sort to crave romantic relationships but she totally sees why Nicky loves this man the way he does. “Yes, he is.” She confirms more firmly this time.
> 
> The woman pats her shoulder. “Then don’t wait too long before giving him kids.”
> 
> That— petrifies her. “Excuse me?”
> 
> “Oh poor darling.” Her eyes are so sympathetic, Nile just watches in horror as it unfolds. “Are you afraid? I know having a baby is scary but look at your man out there, playing with those kids. He looks so happy, don’t you want to give him that?”
> 
> As a matter of fact, Nile doesn’t want to give Joe _anything_ this woman is implying. It sits so wrong, because fuck it all, Joe and Nicky are so damn perfect for each other, how could she…? Ugh, stupid heteronormativity.

It all comes to heads pretty quickly.

The decision of getting Booker back sooner is taken right out of their hands by Quynh. Because of course Andy and her fight each other, the rest trying their hardest to only intervene when it seems Quynh might fiscally hurt Andy in a way her mortal body won’t heal correctly after. Moreover, of fucking course, they end up curled up crying and kissing each other, asking for forgiveness and forgiving each other and themselves in return. A prayer for atoning lovers.

Which leads to the point where they find out Booker and Quynh are a whole team on their own, a package deal. There isn’t even a doubt about it, the six of them are together now. Forever.

There’s still friction and logically, the jobs are at stand still for the time being. Until they can all manage to find the trust to work together flawlessly as before. Or a new kind of flawless with Quynh here.

Nile can’t even begin to comprehend what she must have experienced. Quynh felt abandoned, and that iron coffin in the deep of the ocean— Nile can’t think of a more terrible torture than that.

A part of her savagely wonders how in the hell Booker and Quynh managed to be civilized enough when they found them. They both were pretty fucked up, and stood at different levels; Booker feeling left behind but guilty for his betrayal, Quynh feeling left behind but raging because of the torture. And yet, they showed up composed, and sober! Nile’s going to give them credit for that. She seriously can’t even imagine…

The other part of her, it’s just happy that things are starting to look better for them. Andy and Quynh fortifying their relationship, Booker slowly earning forgiveness with everyone else slowly offering that forgiveness at their own rhythm. It’s… dare she say it? It’s kind of nice. It’s starting to feel like family and home and warmth and some days she could cry about the domesticity of Nicky cooking dinner with Joe and Quynh’s help while Nile and Booker talk about the book they’re reading – Joe piping up from time to time – and Andy surveying it all, nursing a glass of wine or two.

And that’s another thing, somehow Nile believes they’ve lowered alcohol consumption as a whole. She doesn’t count the bottles but it feels like that. Joe confessed he was glad for it, as he shouldn’t be drinking either way. Truth is, Andy and Booker experiencing a happiness they lacked or didn’t understand makes all the difference.

She approves, she isn’t much of a fan of dying by alcohol poisoning. Well, actually, she isn’t a fan of dying, period.

And this time for themselves to simply live is astonishing. Nicky joining a few charities, Joe going along sometimes. Andy and Quynh recovering their lost time, Booker sort of trying to teach them about technology. Nile… she’s going to the gym, sometimes they all go to the gym with her, it’s chaos. Fun chaos, but she won’t ever say it out loud, she can’t give them the satisfaction.

Having this transition time is how she finds herself with Joe people watching in some random park. Kids playing in some rusty old games or chasing a ball and still having the time of their lives. Mothers in patches of three or five, gossiping. A lonely man supervising his daughter poorly while checking emails on his phone.

It’s technically training, learning to read people. Joe is giving her pointers to become a professional charmer. Although they could get out of every sticky situation guns a blazing, there are times when sweet talking people is quicker and more merciful. He laughs, privately telling Nile that unleashing Nicky and Andy, and now Quynh!, is the fast paced road to utter anarchy. One way ticket to Copley cursing them. So yes, it’s convenient some of them have the skill to diffuse conflicts or bargain their way out.

“Look, I love Nicky. And I adore Andy and Quynh.” He says completely at ease with it. “But they lack certain… let’s say, people skills. They’re quite blunt.” He grins, a lazy sort of thing. “We? We’re charmers, performers.”

She blinks. “And Booker?” As soon as she says it, she regrets it. Too soon.

His smile drops, just as she’s turning to face him, an apologetic expression evident.

“He too.”

“I’m sorry.” Nile isn’t even sure what she’s sorry for, but she feels like it’s the done thing, like she needs to say so.

“What for?”

“I… Don’t know.” She takes a breath. “I suppose it’s still a sore subject.”

“Even if it is. Even if I’m still angry and haven’t forgiven him… Nile, you can always talk about him. He is your family, you love him as you love the rest of us.” She’s a bit taken aback but nods all the same. “Good, then don’t worry about it.” Nile looks unconvinced. “It isn’t your job to fix us, or walk on eggshells around us.”

“Alright.”

Rationally, she knows all this. Of course she can’t fix the damage, she can only lend ears and understanding. She’s just a witness of the way they’re mending things slowly. Still, sometimes she wishes she could do more, or help in some resolute way. She can’t though.

Joe scoffs and gives her a one-armed hug, bumping their heads tenderly. She swears he deposits a chaste kiss atop of her head before breaking the contact.

“The fact that we’re angry now doesn’t mean we don’t love Booker. Or that we resent you for forgiving him.” He says. “But it’s obvious we’ve been hurt, our feelings are as valid as his and we all need time to heal.”

“I know!” And her eyes are pure fire. “I would never criticize your reaction to his betrayal, I don’t want you to think I’m picking sides or something. ´Cause I’m not, I wouldn’t. I see where he came from but what he did was wrong and…”

And haven’t they talked about this until getting sick of twisting it around? Like snakes tangling themselves into knots. What’s done is done and the only way now is forward.

He whistles as she deflates, the momentum gone.

“You know what he said?” Joe asks. She’s afraid of what this will turn into, nonetheless she braves through it and shakes her head. “That I couldn’t understand his pain because I’ve always had Nicky all this time.”

Nile sucks in a breath. “That’s fucked up.” She mumbles.

It makes Joe bark out a short laugh. “It is. He said it like it was our fault he felt lonely.” She opens her mouth and he shoots her a glance that speaks too clearly. “If you say sorry again…”

Well, she is. Sorry and ashamed somehow. She mimics zipping her mouth instead and throwing away the key.

“Don’t.” Joe protests, amusement showing. “I’d miss your voice. Who else would drive Andy insane like you do?” He teases.

“Ha, ha. Hilarious.” She scowls. A heartbeat and she looks away, every other person here is still minding their own business, no one can tell what they’re talking about, how sensitive all this is, how flayed she feels. “I don’t think he really meant it…” She trails off.

“He didn’t.” Joe assures with the certainty of knowing someone for a couple of centuries only can give you. “It doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt.”

She gets it, at least she thinks she does.

Much like their lives, it’s a matter of time. So much time at their disposal. They only have each other and their purpose. Yes, a matter of time.

Joe smiles, sincere and blindingly bright – Nile can see why Nicky fell so hard. He cups the back of her head and bumps their foreheads.

“Doesn’t mean we won’t heal. Take it easy, kid.”

She isn’t a kid, it’s not her fault they’re all decrepit. She opens her mouth to say exactly that when a shrieking yell interrupts her and a ball hits Joe’s leg. He grunts exaggeratedly and staggers like mortally wounded, clutching the affected area.

A couple of children run to them, red cheeks and heavy breathing from the playing session they’re having. Cute and chubby and innocent, some look at Joe with concern in their bright eyes. One of them sneaks around the commotion to grab the ball back.

“Are you okay?” The smallest girl asks in the native language.

Dramatically, Joe inspects his leg. “I don’t know.” His accent is almost imperceptible. Nile needs to up her game learning more languages, huh. “I think I’ll heal if you let me play with you?”

She blinks, unprepared for the realization that she knows nothing about his companion in this regard. Does he like kids? Did he have kids before becoming immortal? Does he want them now? Is he burdened by the fact that they couldn’t possibly?

The children all nod enthusiastically and start telling him in rapid fire sentences the rules of their game. Joe nods along although she thinks he doesn’t understand everything they’re saying and then he’s winking at her and just… playing with the local kids.

Mothers begin to come closer, checking this stranger playing with their kids, running behind the ball and shouting encouragement when one has it, congratulating them for quick sprints and strong kicks. It’s almost surreal. Nile wonders if Nicky has seen this and felt a pang in his chest, the desire to live something they shouldn’t. Oh, it does sting. And she doesn’t even want a partner or children of her own.

With watery eyes, she smiles and waves at Joe when he looks in her direction. She knows he’s signaling someone approaching her, surely to simply talk about this grown up guy in the park running around like a kid himself.

“Is he with you?” A woman asks, accent thick, she’s forcing English for her benefit.

“He is.” She replies. “Thank you for the English, I’m still working on my pronunciation here.”

The woman laughs. “No worries. Mine is a bit rusty but I get along, right?” Nile nods, cautiously trying to decipher this woman. “Is he always like that?”

“Ah. Yeah, I guess so.” After all, Joe is kinda silly. A heart of gold goofy type of man. Okay, Nile isn’t the sort to crave romantic relationships but she totally sees why Nicky loves this man the way he does. “Yes, he is.” She confirms more firmly this time.

The woman pats her shoulder. “Then don’t wait too long before giving him kids.”

That— petrifies her. “Excuse me?”

“Oh poor darling.” Her eyes are so sympathetic, Nile just watches in horror as it unfolds. “Are you afraid? I know having a baby is scary but look at your man out there, playing with those kids. He looks so happy, don’t you want to give him that?”

As a matter of fact, Nile doesn’t want to give Joe _anything_ this woman is implying. It sits so wrong, because fuck it all, Joe and Nicky are so damn perfect for each other, how could she…? Ugh, stupid heteronormativity.

Also, ah yeah, she said he was with her. But not like that! Is it to late to clarify…?

“You’re younger than him, right?” The understatement of the year but Nile is keeping to herself exactly how many centuries older than her Joe truly is. “Then take it as a friendly advice from me. Being parents at a nice young age is better, you’ll keep such a good man by your side and your kids will be old enough when you reach middle age so you’ll have more freedom by then, you’ll need it.”

“I will think about it.” Nile lies, there’s nothing else for her to do. “Thank you. Goodbye.”

And just like that, she turns around and marches right back to the house they’re occupying.

When Joe catches up to her, she doesn’t have the heart to comment on the woman’s mistake or perception. The part about them being together is ridiculous, but Joe and kids? Maybe that’s more sensitive than she wants to believe. So they walk in silence.

As with Booker, and every other tragedy that comes with immortality, it’s a matter of time. To heal as best as possible.


	3. Nicky

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The steps approaching must belong to some classmate or some other acquaintances that Nicky finds viscerally annoying. And that’s rich since he’s a pretty chill guy. Nile is guessing homophobe or racist. Probably both. Ugh, how joyful.
> 
> “Hey Nick!” Nile has to turn around slightly to see the guy, she’s already frowning. Nick? “And you got yourself a lady already!” The guy jokes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Adding a warning for homophobic and misogynistic language (from an OMC), nothing extremely violent but once again better to be safe than sorry!

The job sucked. Sucked big time.

Fuck everything.

Well, no, not really. They did the right thing, bringing down a ring of children trafficking. But it was awful. Joe and Booker gave them the scare of their lives after a nasty explosion, Quynh had the worst panic attack Nile has ever seen and Andy got injured pretty badly.

It wasn’t nice. At all.

They take the place down figuratively and literally, Copley helping with the local blues and social services to take care of the kids in the location after they left, blood everywhere and hearts heavy.

Then Andy is saying that maybe they need more time off than anticipated.

And then Booker is forging passports and documents along with Copley creating new identities for them to lay low in some random city for a few years apparently.

And _then_ Nicky says he should take advantage of this vacation to go to college. This time, and Nile suspects it has everything to with Andy, he’ll become a doctor. Or close enough to one as to be more useful when the situation calls for someone with a bit more medical training.

Nile thinks it’s kind of a good idea, it has its merits.

Nicky offers her one of his smiles, subtle but oh so bright and asks if she’d like to study something too.

She considers it. She actually wonders why he doesn’t ask Joe to go with him but then maybe she just doesn’t need to inquire in personal matters. She considers it some more.

*

“Mom I am _not_ going to be a doctor!” Nile announces watching a mountain of books on the table Nicky is occupying.

The coffee shop is pretty small but it feels homey, the delicious smell of coffee and sweet edible things all around. Nicky sits at the back, with a panoramic view of the whole place and direct vision to the door and street. It’s strategic although Nile doesn’t know if it was a conscious choice or simply a habit he won’t shake off.

“You are not.” Nicky informs her dutifully. “Should I remind you that you decided at the last minute to back down?”

“Ah right.” She grins and sits by his side, looking outside as well. He shakes his head indulgently and hands her the extra coffee he bought just for her. “Thank you.”

“Thank you for picking me up.”

“No biggie.” She shrugs and drinks.

In the end, Nicky was the only one who decided to go to college. Joe has primarily taken the role of volunteer for any kind of charity they can find where it’ll be easy to erase he was ever there, mostly small organizations helping homeless people, Booker for his part volunteers himself and drags Quynh to animal shelters. Nile has decided to learn as much Russian as she can, revisit her Spanish and some Italian because it’s hilarious to listen to Nicky swear. Andy recovered herself as quickly as expected, all things considered, and sometimes joins them on their tasks, sometimes she steals Booker’s bike and disappears with Quynh for a few days.

A small sound Nicky makes distracts her from her coffee, lukewarm by now. It’s like a frustrated groan, a noise aborted before it can turn into an actual scream of dismay. Either way, his face remains quite stoic; the bags under his eyes and books make very clear he’s a college student. Joke’s on them though, because the poor man is a long time best friend with sleepless nights – like all of them, to be honest – so the dark rings under his eyes are just his look.

However, she’s getting better at reading people in general and now she’s focusing on her family. Nicky is probably the hardest, but now? Oh she knows what that sound means. The steps approaching must belong to some classmate or some other acquaintances that Nicky finds viscerally annoying. And that’s rich since he’s a pretty chill guy. Nile is guessing homophobe or racist. Probably both. Ugh, how joyful.

“Hey Nick!” Nile has to turn around slightly to see the guy, she’s already frowning. Nick? “And you got yourself a lady already!” The guy jokes.

Nicky nods, flashes a look at her that speaks of immense patience. “Hello Alexander. Yes, this is Nile. Nile, Alexander is Elizabeth’s boyfriend – you remember her, right? From my study group?”

There’s a vague memory, a girl with wavy hair and way too pale skin. It matches well with the jock vibe of this guy, she guesses. “Uh sure.” She says all the same, still unsure if she’s remembering Elizabeth right. “Hi, man.”

She releases the cup and they shake hands and Alexander gives him a once over that’s entirely uncalled for.

“She’s cute, Nick.” He tells Nicky as if NIle isn’t right there. God, as if she couldn’t kick his ass for disrespecting her. He takes a chair from the nearest table and sits with them, grinning like the cat who got the cream. “So is this the wife? Or the mistress?” He asks.

It takes her completely aback. “What the fuck?” She finds herself whispering with feeling. Because really, what the fuck? Is this guy for real?

Nile watches Nicky start picking up his books, two really big ones go into his blue backpack along with three different notebooks. The rest he stacks one over the other, she assumes his plan is to carry them in his arms to the car Nile so gracefully arrived in to pick him up. She then notes the gold wedding band on Nicky’s hand. Ah right. She’s seen it before, Joe got it for him so Nicky would get an easy way out when people try to flirt with him.

It’s a reasonable thing, she’s met girls who do the same to avoid unwanted men. It doesn’t always work, huh.

“She’s a very good friend of mine.” Nicky explains, slowly. It has the same cadence he uses when explaining to hotel staff that the queen-sized beds are for him and Joe and for Andy and Quynh respectively.

The man laughs, throwing his head back and all. A real loud amused laugh. Nile lifts an eyebrow. A lonely old lady having tea and making a crossword all the way to the other side of the coffee shop is bothered enough to look up and scowl at him.

“Oh come on, dude, I won’t say a thing, promise. You can’t tell me this sweet thing is just your friend!”

Nile wants to know what’s wrong with this guy. But she already knows, he probably has been ignoring every cue Nicky has been giving that he isn’t into women. She knows he’s very private, but in college one is usually confronted with personal questions and Nicky might masterfully lie about his past and every other relevant detail about being an immortal soldier trying to do what’s right; however, he would never in a thousand lifetimes lie about his relationship with Joe.

“As a matter of fact.” Nicky has ordered every book into two piles, backpack on his lap like he’s ready to leave and pray to never meet this guy again. “That’s exactly what I am saying. Nile is a very good friend, I’d dare say she’s my family.”

That’s extremely endearing, Nicky says it with such conviction Nile could forget this asshole is here.

“Dude, I won’t tell your wife! Be honest with me!” He insists.

Nile swears she sees a vein popping up on Nicky’s forehead. But he persists in his forced patience, shrugs and stands up. The tranquility and patience of a sniper – she could say a saint alright, but she’s seen Nicky with his sword. No saint is that cool or that murdery.

“Jesus, it’s just not like that, man.” Nile exclaims and inches one pile towards her, she’ll be carrying that one. Nicky picks up his bag and slings it around his right shoulder. “Leave Nicky alone.”

Alexander looks at her, his lips quirk into a disgusting smile. “Don’t call him that, woman. _Nicky?_ That’s so effeminate!” He protests.

She rolls her eyes. “Of course not!”

“I don’t think so either.” Nicky sounds completely done. “And now if you excuse us, I need to get back home. My husband is waiting for me.” He picks up his pile, gives a significant look at Nile that ejects her promptly from her seat, taking her own pile of books with her.

The guy is gaping. It seems so far Nicky has been real subtle about the gender of his partner. Or Alexander is extremely thick and homophobic to pick up on it.

“Your— husband?” Eyes wide, he’s standing up too. Nile squares her shoulders, ready to smack him around if he tries something funny.

For fuck’s sake, Joe and Nicky had been facing homophobia since she doesn’t even know what year. They deserve the rest to step up and protect them, even if they can take care of themselves just fine.

“Right. That’s what I said.” Nicky nods, almost at the door by now. Nile doesn’t dare to move yet. “My husband. He’s very supportive and calls me Nicky endearingly all the time.”

She has front row to the spectacle that it’s this guy’s face, shock and horror and disgust in quick succession. It’s awful.

“The fuck dude?!” He yells. The old lady has stopped once again and is looking very concerned. Nile notices the young woman behind the counter for the first time, her eyes big and worried and she has a line phone in her hands, as if ready to call for help if the situation escalates. “So you’re a fag? Why didn’t you say so clearly? Beth invited you to our place, fuck.”

“You piece of—” Nile starts, but Nicky’s small scoff of a laugh stops her.

“I never said or did anything to indicate I am heterosexual. In fact, I thought I made it clear I wasn’t. I suppose you aren’t smart enough to take in subtlety.”

“Oh my!” The old lady breathes out. She’s staying for the drama, Nile just knows it.

“Now, we must really leave. Send my regards to Elizabeth.”

Just like that he’s walking out.

“Fuck you, you’re a piece of shit.” Nile manages to spit before following suit.


	4. Booker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She crosses her arms over her chest. “What should it be? Our distraction.”
> 
> They’re lounging almost in front of the building, the others having gone in mere minutes ago. The street is pretty deserted, a few cars passing by every fifteen minutes maybe and barely two or three persons walking around in that time.
> 
> Booker shrugs. “Whatever you want it to be.”

This has to be the most stupid plan they’ve ever conceived. Full honesty here. And considering Nile’s only plan so far was to fucking shoot her way – alone! – into a well guarded lab to save the others, which in hindsight was stupid as fuck; don’t her wrong, she doesn’t regret it at all, it probably was the only option at that moment. But yeah, not the most tactically brilliant.

Now this plan? Sounds even more stupid. That’s saying something, right?

It’s meant to go like this:

Quynh, who took sniping as a duck to water, will be surveilling everything from afar. Their long distance long range vigilante.

Booker and Nile are supposed to be the loud distraction right outside the building. They have permission to cause a big ruckus, maybe she’ll punch some security guards just because.

Up until there it doesn’t sound so bad, yes?

Prepare for the undercover part.

They’re supposed to access the digital records to make sure Copley gets a duplicate of all the information. It turns out this lovely office building belongs to a very rich very unscrupulous man, they’re embezzling money not only from some almost legit industries and government but also they’re involved in pretty huge drug deals. Money laundering, off shores accounts, fraud, trafficking and what not.

So here’s the master plan to get the others inside.

Joe will be acting as a foreign music star who wants to shoot his next music video right inside the building. Nicky, his stoic bodyguard, will be accompanying him. Andy and Copley are of course Joe’s managers who really think the next single will be a world wide success and won’t take no for an answer.

Fortunately the proposition is easy money for the owner so they aren’t ever met with a negative.

Andy, Joe and Nicky will be the inside distraction.

Today they’re having a tour around. Copley will have access to the servers while the rest… distract everyone enough to notice they’re actually stealing their most precious data.

It sounds like one of those convoluted plans that can only work in movies or TV shows.

Nile scowls so much that Booker starts grinning. The only good part of this ridiculousness is watching Joe in yet another fashionista outfit (the red leather jacket does wonders, she can tell), Nicky in a formal black suit typical ensemble for a bodyguard, sunglasses and all (she truly hopes they decide to stay in separate rooms because Nile doesn’t want to listen to any sexual role play tonight!), and Andy in a smart tight dark blue suit (yes, Nile will avoid Andy and Quynh’s room for the next few days as well).

She crosses her arms over her chest. “What should it be? Our distraction.”

They’re lounging almost in front of the building, the others having gone in mere minutes ago. The street is pretty deserted, a few cars passing by every fifteen minutes maybe and barely two or three persons walking around in that time.

Booker shrugs. “Whatever you want it to be.”

“Let’s bet.” Quynh murmurs in their ears through the comms. It seems she took to this too like a duck to water, huh. “What will be the inside distraction? What will they do?”

Just the three of them are sharing this chat since it seemed kind of unnecessary risky for the others to walk in with mics. It makes Nile wonder what the signal will be this time around.

“They’ll break something really expensive?” She tries, unconvinced.

“Could be.” And the sharp smirk on Quynh is unmistakable even if she can’t see her. “I bet they’ll have Andromache pissing someone off and getting into a fight.”

“Five thousand says Joe and Nicky will make out in full view of other people and Andy will pretend to lose it.” Booker says. Nile has no idea the exchange currency here but she’s assuming five thousand is quite a nice amount.

“That’s oddly specific. Have they done that before?”

“You’re on.” Quynh goads. And Nile suspects she doesn’t understand the currency either. She guesses Quynh has even more of a free pass than her regarding how much money it truly means what Booker is offering.

“Alright, I’m in.” She agrees quickly. “However, I veto that idea as our distraction.” Quynh’s laughter in her head is as distracting as endearing.

Booker gives a bark of a laugh, short and startled right out of him. “No. Of course not.” He concedes. “Don’t get me wrong, kid, I do think you’re beautiful and all but...”

A car speeds by with music way too loud and breaks the moment. Or so Nile thinks, Booker looking at her fondly.

“Be brave!” Quynh admonishes. “Finish the thought.”

He sighs and brushes his hair out of his face in a tired motion, half grimace on display in total mock of himself. “But you’re like a younger sister, you even remind me of my boys sometimes. So no, let’s better think of something else.”

Nile knows it’s honest, and it warms something in her. This is her family now, and no, none of them will replace her father, mother and brother. But that doesn’t mean she can’t connect with them, can’t feel this familial love. It’s nice.

Quynh says something in a language she can’t comprehend and maybe she’s roasting them for the sappiness or maybe she’s actually touched about this.

“Then just hit him and pretend he cheated on you.” She says then, matter of factly. Nile’s eyes widen at the shock and Booker takes offense, turning to look into the other direction, up into the building he knows Quynh is watching over them. “What?” She protests almost defensively. “I’ve seen it, couples fighting on the street, and it’s always a big commotion. At least people stop and stare. Isn’t that what we need?”

She isn’t wrong, and yet…

Too close for comfort.

Booker sighs again. “Okay, but please don’t punch me if you can help it.” And why does it sound like he’s done this before? He wonders who punched him. Probably Andy.

“We can compromise on slapping?” Quynh suggests with a sadistic glee. Booker glares in her general direction again.

“I won’t, don’t worry.” Nile assures.

“You’re the best of us.” He replies.

Biting her cheek to suppress the smile, she nods. “I know.” Quynh laughs happily on the other side of the comm, Booker has that amused grin of his. Yeah, this _is_ kind of nice, the soft banter.

“Hey, Copley is sneaking away.” Quynh calls. That’s the signal, Nile supposes. Ah fuck it, she isn’t that good at this, improvising. Booker frowns, takes her hand, looks away. In that order. It makes her frown. “Um, hello? Nile? Book?”

When Booker turns his head to her, he looks different. “I am so sorry, babe.” He loudly says. So the cheating route, huh.

She snaps into action, and brusquely reclaims her hand from his grip. “Don’t touch me!” She screams. Oh God, this is equal parts cathartic and embarrassing. Booker lifts his hands up in surrender. “You asshole, don’t touch me! With those same hands you touched her like I meant nothing!”

He blinks. Quynh snickers.

Nile wants to canalize that one time when she was seventeen and her boyfriend of the moment kissed another girl in the library. She was furious. It feels so silly now, she didn’t even like him like that.

“It was a mistake, I know. But you have to understand…”

“Shut up! I don’t want your excuses!”

They’re shouting louder and louder, one security guy steps outside through a side door, checking the situation. Says nothing. A young couple is passing by but stops in their tracks near the street corner.

He tries again for his hand, she allows it this time.

“It was one stupid mistake, I am so sorry, I don’t know what I was thinking…” The way he trails off makes Nile think this is thin ice, talking about mistakes and betrayals. “It won’t happen again.” He finishes.

“Oh fuck you, you weren’t thinking! Of course it won’t happen again!” Another guard shows up, the both of them are looking with avid eyes, this is better than their boring job. The service side door is left open so she knows everyone inside must be eavesdropping. Once again, she trashes to free herself from his grasp. Booker is truly acting, his hand seemed to be hard to shake off but he wasn’t gripping her that tight really. “A mistake is forgetting to buy juice on your way home, fucking another woman in our bed isn’t!” She hisses with way more venom that she thought she could muster.

Booker’s eyes go wide, his hands falling uselessly at his side.

“Ouch.” The guy from the corner mumbles, the sudden silence makes it sound loud though.

“Not enough distraction.” Quynh claims.

Nile harrumphs noisily. Mad at the instruction to cause an even bigger hassle, which goes fantastically because it looks like she’s angry at the situation.

A third security guard is stepping outside right when Booker goes down on one knee.

“You fucking won’t.” Nile whispers with heat. _Do you even have a ring, you asshole?_ She wants to ask. “Stand up.” She says instead.

“I know I’ve been an idiot, and I made the worst mistake ever, I betrayed your trust. But let me make it up to you, for the rest of our days.” He’s anchoring himself with respectful hands on Nile’s waist. A pretty trick to avoid presenting a ring that isn’t there.

“Should have betted about _your_ distraction.” Quynh mentions off-handedly.

A fourth security guy appears and behind him there’s a young woman who must be the receptionist. It might be enough but why stop here? Go big or go home, that’s the motto of this family.

“Stand up, please.” Booker obliges. She hugs him, burying her head on his neck. “You are a total asshole.” She says, and it’s probably muffled but in case the rest hears it, well, it’s cryptic enough.

Three more passersby are standing looking at the show they’re putting.

“Babe?” His voice sounds slightly alarmed. Good.

Nile twirls him, the movement pretty casual like she doesn’t notice it. She breaks the contact once Booker is where she wants him to be. “You will make it up to me.” Booker gulps. “You will regret it for the rest of your days, sure.”

No punching, no slapping. However, no one said anything about pushing. So she pushes him. He goes right through the glass double door, everyone screams, the glass shatters, makes an awful noise. Everyone in the first floor rushes to the front of the building, people in other floors conglomerate in windows to see what the fuss is about.

Nile has a mix of sounds ringing in her ears. From Quynh’s delighted laugh to shrieking from complete strangers to Booker’s creative French insults to glass satisfactorily breaking into pieces.

Outside distraction accomplished.

*

Inside, it goes like this, as retold by Joe later:

The tour goes smoothly, some random office workers stopping them and asking for pictures with Joe that fortunately Nicky and Andy manage to deflect. Copley identifies early on the servers room in the second floor so that’s good. Joe and Andy improvise some nonsense about lights and shadows and colors that represent his music and the best places to shoot, Nicky always at Joe’s side.

All that seems interesting enough for the young man showing them around, or maybe he’s just really into Andy and Joe looking smoking hot with their designer clothes. Thing is, Copley finds it easy to scurry away pretty quickly and extremely quietly.

A few minutes after, as agreed, Nicky pretends to notice Copley is gone and informs Andy as much. She pretends to call him and when no one answers, asks the young man to help her look. They separate like in a Scooby Doo cartoon, Joe and Nicky going one way, Andy and the young man the opposite.

With some help of Andy playing dumb, and the guy having the hots for her surely, they start walking aimlessly, until they stumble right into Nicky pressing Joe into a desk, tongue in Joe’s throat and a hand suspiciously near his crotch. Andy makes such a scandal, shouting and threatening to fire Nicky and promising to turn Joe’s career into pure Hell.

Then they hear a very loud noise, people screaming. The building is torn in half, the ones closer to this distraction dying to see what’s going to happen, the rest pushing their way to windows to inspect what happened in the ground floor.

Smoothly, Copley reappears. Makes a show of scoffing and complaining he can’t even go to the bathroom without the others causing a scene. As it is, he asks to be shown the surveillance tapes, he’ll pay a hefty sum to erase every frame in existence where Joe and Nicky are being indecent in public. You know what? Better yet, he’ll pay them to erase every recording of today.

When they leave, they have a cloned hard drive full of relevant info and no trace in any security tape that they’ve even been there to begin with.


	5. Quynh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Ah wait.” The woman stops her. “Please take this.” She presents them with two hand-made bracelets, red and blue intermixed with a touch of gray and white. It’s macramé, that much Nile knows. That bit and the fact that they’re super cute bracelets.
> 
> “Oh we can’t.” Quynh is refusing, but the old lady has already pressed them into her hand.
> 
> “One for you and one for your girlfriend.” She explains.

Andy has a sweet tooth. She has her favorites, that’s right, but you could present her with a mountain of sugar and she’ll be pretty happy.

The news lately has made her sad so Quynh asks Nile to accompany her on an important mission. Get Andy the most delicious sweet thing they can find. To cheer her up.

Although Nile suspects Quynh also does it because the moans Andy gives while eating baklava and other delicacies are basically pornographic. She doesn’t blame her. Which doesn’t mean she wants to question Quynh’s ulterior motives and simply accepts and takes the chance to walk around the commercial part of the town they’re staying in while waiting for their next job.

The weather is nicer than expected despite the gray clouds above. The ambiance feels humid but it’s bearable. There’s the threat of a big body of water somewhere near but it isn’t oppressive and so far Quynh hasn’t mentioned a thing.

They walk aimlessly, slowly, enjoying the soft murmurs of conversations all around. A place that feels alive with people. They go into every shop that remotely causes them curiosity, they talk with street vendors in broken sentences and hand gestures. They buy food, sweets for Andy and spicy snacks to taste after dinner. They buy a few clothing items, a cap for Joe and knitted socks with tiny knives embroidered on it for Nicky, a green long dress for Quynh and a nice jean jacket, a tiger painted on the back for Nile. They bargain a pretty battered and old book with a weird dedicatory signed on the first two pages for Booker.

She enjoys the mental image of the others’ surprised faces at the gifts.

It’s a lovely day out. Nile finds herself enjoying all of it. The smell of food here and there, the smell of plants and fruits and perfumes with supposed curative properties in between. The laughter of kids running around. Vendors announcing their prices or that’s what she can gather from their shouts. The warmth of Quynh at her side, smiling softly.

“Let’s rest for a bit.” Quynh calls, and tilts her head towards a conglomeration of little tables where three adults are having teas or coffees with some sort of cake, two of them playing chess.

Quynh opens the chair for her and that’s when Nile realizes she’s been carrying all the bags herself. It isn’t like they weigh too much but still, she hasn't noticed. Quynh smiles conspiratorially.

“Could’ve told me I was the muscles.” She mumbles, taking the third unused chair to put their purchases there.

An elderly woman shows up quickly, a tender smile crinkling her face more than the wrinkles of age. It makes them feel welcomed instantly. She offers a few things in slow words for them to understand, Quynh asks her, as best as she can, for the drinks and food she recommends to them. The woman’s face lights up and she nods hastily, claiming _one moment_ in English.

“I have time.” Quynh says, even if the woman can’t hear her now.

Nile settles on the chair, inspecting Quynh. How comfortable she already is in this world so different from the one she must remember. Or maybe not, maybe she only remembers Andy’s love and the cruelty the rest of the world put upon her, all the needless violence. In that regard, the world seems pretty much the same. How disappointing. How long must one live to see the changes? The good ones.

“Ask away.” Quynh tells her, all regal in her own confidence.

There’s a fierce dignity to her that none of them can ever match. Nile _adores_ it.

“What is your secret?” It takes Quynh completely off guard. “I mean…” She trails off.

The woman comes back with a young boy in tow, bringing two large mugs of something that smells like coffee with some liquor and four small plates with little cakes or pastries of some kind. It all looks delicious.

They both help put everything on the table and thank the woman profusely, she nods and retires, dragging the boy back with her, all the while muttering to him something under her breath.

Quynh picks her mug and, as if she wants to rival Andy, moans like it’s the best thing she’s ever tasted. And they regularly eat what Joe and Nicky cook, so. Nile goes for the nearest plate and the explosion of pleasure at the dark chocolate and sweet cream makes her close her eyes and enjoy the next two bites like a starving woman.

This place is great.

“You should bring Andy here.” Nile mentions, and Quynh nods.

“She’ll love it, yes.” She takes a tiny bite from a cake that seems lemony and there’s another moan of complete ecstasy. Primly putting the fork down, she pierces Nile with a meaningful look. “About my secret…?”

“Well, I mean…” A pause. Looking away for a brief moment, she sees the old woman animatedly talking to a teenage girl now. She turns back to Quynh. “I’m not sure what I mean.” She confesses. “It’s just… I got used to Joe wearing his heart on his sleeve. And the rest… it’s easy to see their pain, the moment they hurt. Because of memories or a mission or because the rest of us are in danger. They’re basic, in that sense.”

Quynh hides her expression on her mug. “No poker faces, I know.”

“And then, I imagined you… all that anger. I thought I’ll manage to see it, it felt so strong in my dreams.” She takes a breath. Then a sip to calm herself. “I’m really happy you seem so… Sane? I don’t know, this family is so effortless most of the time. I guess I’m amazed you’re here now, as recovered as you’ll ever be.”

Another tiny bite. “So you wonder if it’s real, if I don’t hide some secret.”

She grimaces. “It sounds too dark now. In my head, it sounded more… rational?” She groans. “Sorry, I don’t want to offend you. Let’s just forget I said anything.”

“It’s okay.” Quynh shakes her head and puts her hand on the table. That’s straightforward, and Nile does like the easy physical affection they can share. “I’m not offended.” They’re holding hands now and smiling. “I do not know what my secret is. And I am full of rage, and sometimes sorrow as well.” Nile feels the prickle of tears in her eyes, she doesn’t even know why, but Quynh speaks full of emotions and she can feel it. “I suppose it’s better to focus on the present. And I have a family that loves me, that took my anger and returned me love and understanding. I gained a couple of new little siblings.” She squeezes Nile’s hand. “I am a bit amazed myself. But I don’t want the anger or sadness to consume me.”

“Maybe you’re just amazing.” Nile says, doing something with her eyebrows that makes Quynh laugh.

“Oh I am. I am a marvel.” It’s meant as a joke but honestly? She’s right.

She lets Nile’s hand go and they spend the next long minutes eating the pastries and drinking their hot beverages, complimenting the tastes and then simply talking about the things they bought and other quirky knick knacks they actually should get back to buy.

Quynh proposes a few souvenirs for Copley even. Nile doesn’t particularly oppose.

They slowly lapse into silence, warm and sluggish, the lazy afternoon sun managing to shine from time to time. Some part of Nile wonders about Andy, would she be at least a tiny bit jealous? She’s probably just glad they’re bonding.

The teenage from before approaches their table, a few more patrons have arrived since they sat down, and she starts to pick up the cups and plates, a half smile on her face. The old woman replaces her at the edge on the table when the girl is done.

“It was delicious.” Nile tells her promptly.

This woman has such kind eyes, a beautiful grandma-like smile. It makes her feel so at ease.

Quynh repeats the sentiment in the local language and then is offering bills and coins to pay for all of it. The woman accepts it gratefully and pockets everything in her apron. Nile thinks Quynh is giving her more money than the meal costs but she isn’t going to complain.

The young boy who helped her bring the things shows up from behind her, big questioning eyes trained on Nile. When Quynh offers him a coin, he takes it and breaks into a run. The woman yells something at him.

“Thank you.” She says, and her English isn’t half bad despite her age. “My grandchildren are teaching me.” She clarifies as if reading their thoughts. The accent is really endearing and the fact that these kids decide to be patient with her and teach her is totally adorable.

Nile starts nodding a goodbye, standing up and picking all the bags once again.

“Ah wait.” The woman stops her. “Please take this.” She presents them with two hand-made bracelets, red and blue intermixed with a touch of gray and white. It’s macramé, that much Nile knows. That bit and the fact that they’re super cute bracelets.

“Oh we can’t.” Quynh is refusing, but the old lady has already pressed them into her hand.

“One for you and one for your girlfriend.” She explains. Nile feels the denial bubbling up but somehow is rooted to the spot, watching Quynh’s eyes widen slightly and then relaxing in tandem. “My granddaughter, she is like you. And we did not understand, we judged her, and it destroyed our family for years.” Quynh is starting to scowl. “But she had an accident, with her girlfriend. In their car.” Her voice trembles. “Someone old as me should never see a granddaughter in the hospital. She recovered and we understood, who she loves only matters because that person needs to make her happy. A woman, a man, other gender.” She winks. “It’s all the same if she is happy.”

The same teenage girl is attending a table not too far away and exclaims something at the old woman. It makes her giggle and dismiss her, the girl groans.

“We were there in the hospital for her.” She continues. “But her girlfriend was all alone. Mother and father weren’t there and she was hurting.” Quynh’s fists tightens around the bracelets. “That isn’t right. I want to support my granddaughter, and her girlfriend, and I want to support you too.” She smiles so big and so honest that it’s probably the kind of memory it’ll make Nile cry when she catches herself later using the bracelet. “So please take it with you, to remember there is always this old grandmother loving you.”

Quynh stands up, face serious. “Thank you.” She says, kisses both of her hands. “We will always remember.” That’s a promise, and this woman has no idea how true it can be. “Have a happy life.” And then repeats something similar in the local language.

The woman nods, looks at Nile so fondly. “Thank you.” Nile finds herself speaking before thinking.

They leave side by side, not daring to look back. The air feels weighted now, heavy with emotions. This is the human experience, empathy and love. Nile takes deep breaths.

Nearing the path it takes them to the house they’re staying in, Quynh offers to tie the bracelet for her. Nile notices she’s already wearing it.

“Yes, please.” She’s agreeing, lifting her left hand, the empty one.

It’s done with soft threads, intricate knots that dance with the different colors. Yes, Nile wants to wear it.

She never asks why Quynh didn’t object, she gets it. At least Nile thinks so. But she does warn Quynh about better not taking Andy to that café, unless she’s ready to explain polyamorous relationships to the old woman.


	6. Nile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “That’s… that’s the thing, I think.” Andy’s eyebrows go up and Booker lifts his head as well. “I understand that you’re lucky, I’m glad you feel that way, but I don’t… don’t want it?”
> 
> “We’re too old for these riddles, kid. Please explain.” But Joe is smiling encouragingly, curiosity spiked.
> 
> “I don’t want love, I don’t need it.” A heartbeat, she feels suddenly sober and like her fight or flight instinct might kick in at any moment. “Romantic love.” She clarifies.

London puts a phantom itch on her.

Copley’s house in particular is a place of mixed signals for her brain. For the most part, Nile remembers the conspiracy board, the first time she saw some of the good these immortal warriors have caused to occur. On the other hand, she thinks of blood stains and betrayal and being so fucking scared because what if she couldn’t save the others? Because she was alone with a group of strangers, facing the most unbelievable situation she has ever faced and she had to be the braver one.

She also remembers Copley’s sad eyes, his sorrow. His voice cracking. His guilt and regret, just a tad too late.

Also, Nile remembers Andy a hair away from blatantly threatening Copley to work for them now.

Today, however, they’re having dinner like a normal family. Which is… weird to say the least. But also pretty cozy and she likes it.

They finished a job two days ago, something quick and clean. And to show them his gratitude, since they have been behaving apparently, Copley invited them to his house.

In a sense it’s probably the most awkward option considering so many things associated with it. And then, it is also a really comfortable place, actual couches and a big TV where every channel works and a functional shower, the kind where they don’t need to figure out if it runs too cold or too hot or without enough pressure.

So they accept and they drink moderately, Copley hosts an excellent dinner with meat and pasta and a chocolate and coffee dessert. All in all, a quite spectacular affair.

She’s pleasantly buzzed, stomach full and almost too heavy. The softness of drowsiness dancing around the edges. Nile is half listening to their conversations, Andy, Copley and Nicky are discussing something about seasonings or spices while Booker, Joe and Quynh are reminiscing about old bets and funny little mishaps in missions. For half of a moment, it feels like home, these people are home now. And she… she is complete, she isn’t missing anything, she isn’t broken.

What a strange revelation to be having but here she is. Surrounded by the two oldest couples in the world, by two men who loved their wives (and sons in Booker’s case) to the point of doing something remarkably stupid and dangerous.

Indeed a revelation. Nile doesn’t need to search or envy others. This is it for her, what a time to realize, she’s at peace with her loveless heart.

Oh all the times she read on social networks about people like her, always finding some silly argument to refuse. It couldn’t be, she possibly couldn’t be like that.

But she is.

And you know what? She’s fucking happy the way she is, she’s whole. She knows her place in the world, she knows this kindness her family exudes. Her heart isn’t loveless, she knows of love, she loves everyone in this room with all her soul. She just… has the final puzzle piece, the peace of mind. Finally. Her love won’t ever be romantic, and the acceptance is freeing.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Booker asks.

Everyone is looking at her, she’s lazing on the same chair she dined. The rest have started dripping into couches and armchairs and more comfortable places. Copley, sleeves rolled-up, is washing the last plates. The domesticity hits her hard. This is lovely and she deserves to enjoy it, she deserves to celebrate that her poor heart has finally settled along with her brain.

“I was thinking…” She takes her last glass of wine with her, and finds a space to sit herself down. Nicky smiles at her as she goes. “You know? I used to feel like… like I was strange, like something went wrong with me.”

A pause while she sips.

Everyone’s attention is on her.

“It kind of did, Nile.” Andy says. “Something went wrong with you. And with all of us in case you haven’t noticed yet.”

“Oh boss!” Joe protests, even though he isn’t annoyed.

Quynh is closer and hits her square in the shoulder, while Booker just laughs. Copley shows up then, smiling.

“Okay, fair enough.” She concedes. “But I wasn’t talking about that.”

“What were you talking about?” Nicky prompts her.

She rolls her shoulders, the movement doesn’t go unnoticed but no one points it out.

“I couldn’t understand how you may be in a romantic relationship like Joe and Nicky, or Andy and Quynh. For so long. So committed.” She drowns the last of her wine. “I couldn’t make sense of that, no offense guys, you’re cute together and all that.”

“Some are lucky.” Booker mumbles. Years prior he’d been taking a long gulp of his flask. As it all stands today, he lowers his gaze and breathes deep and slow.

From the corner of her eyes, she sees Joe grabbing Nicky’s hand. It’s a small gesture and it’s sweet and it cements all she’s been thinking. Nile has been held by everyone here, and it didn’t have to be romantic, it wasn’t, it doesn’t ever have to be like that.

“That’s… that’s the thing, I think.” Andy’s eyebrows go up and Booker lifts his head as well. “I understand that you’re lucky, I’m glad you feel that way, but I don’t… don’t want it?”

“We’re too old for these riddles, kid. Please explain.” But Joe is smiling encouragingly, curiosity spiked.

“I don’t want love, I don’t need it.” A heartbeat, she feels suddenly sober and like her fight or flight instinct might kick in at any moment. “Romantic love.” She clarifies.

More silence.

Quynh clears her throat. “Is this the moment when we tell you you might still find the one? Or the one where we tell you that you don’t need a romantic partner and that you will always have us?” It makes Andy and Booker snort. “Just making sure.”

Nile laughs, sobbing, the kind of laugh that seizes your whole body and leaves you satisfied and tired. “This is the moment where I confess I’ve never felt romantic attraction and you’re all really chill about it.” She comments, cheeks hurting from laughing and the persisting smile she’s sporting now.

The others share a look, heads turning to check between them about it.

“That sounds doable.” Joe supplies.

“Not like we can judge.” Booker adds his two cents.

“Nile, if something we ever do or say makes you uncomfortable or—”

“No, no! Don’t worry!” She’s quick to interrupt and assure Nicky. “You’re always very respectful, I’m thankful for that. Actually, I think that’s why I’m finally seeing it, because despite your relationships, you never push or make unsavory comments about me.” She twirls her empty glass. “I needed the space to think about it, where others didn’t pretend I’m broken because I’m not obsessed with finding a partner. And I know it’s got more to do with our immortality but it feels nice, not to be asked again and again if I found myself a boyfriend.”

She realizes they can’t relate, probably because they’ve been on their own for so long.

Copley passes by, finally taking a seat. “I’ll have in mind to be less inquiring with my nephews. Thank you for telling us.”

They must paint a picture. All sated with food and alcohol, most are basically melting into their places, legs and arms spread. Joe and Nicky pressed together, still holding hands. Quynh on the armrest of the couch where Andy’s sitting, she’s leaning her full body against Andy who seems to be delighted. Booker, almost in front of Nile, is smiling softly, kind of sleepily.

“Thank you for listening.”

“You don’t need a romantic partner, you will always have us.” Quynh says seriously, evoking her earlier words. Andy’s laughter dislodges her from her side, but it’s worth it to see the rest joining with their own scoffs and laughs and grins.

Yes, these people are home now. And despite how much she misses her mother and brother and some aunts and some uncles and some cousins, she’s pretty happy with her new family.

And most importantly, Nile is complete, with purpose and understanding of herself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a ride, thank you so much to everyone reading, kudoing and commenting 💖

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [This Place To Call Home](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27258337) by [MayQueen517](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MayQueen517/pseuds/MayQueen517)




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